“Oh they all said the love marriage was doomed to failure. My family was threatened and a group even warned that a Fatwa would be issued, but I stood my ground and today people see me as a role model and quote my example. Many in my own family have married in other communities and castes,” the dynamic social activist, mother of two kids Sahil and Simran said in an interview.
Shabana says she is generally a silent worker who hates being photographed with beneficiaries of her social work or financial help given to a distressed family. “It is such an insult to those who out of compulsions have to seek help. Media exposure should therefore be selectively used,” she adds.
The energetic and young social activist has high political ambitions but for the moment she prefers to raise social issues that help her build an image and mobilize support. Asked to define her agenda, Shabana said: “Taj Mahal, Yamuna, Greening Agra, stopping use of polythene and promoting a forum to support love marriages that transcend caste and community barriers.”
The Taj Mahal, she says is in a bad shape. “Salma Ansari was angry and chided the ASI people at the Taj for such poor maintenance and generally callous indifference towards heritage buildings. She asked me to focus attention on this issue and see that the restoration work and cleaning of the monument did not suffer in future,” Shabana said.
Talking of love marriages, a cause dear to her heart, Shabana said “these relationships are based on a sense of equality. Both the partners should respect and in totality without reservations accept the family values, the backgrounds, the cultural ethos of the two worlds that come together. For India this was the only way forward. I am happy more and more youngsters these days are defying social discipline in choosing their life partners and even taking a calculated risk. But let me tell you from my own experience, just forget the religious or the caste tags, at the core of our existence we are essentially humans. Of course in our kind of society there is always a lot of expectations and responsibilities from both the partners to move ahead cautiously so that the doubting Thomases do not prove right.”
Shabana did her graduation from St. John’s College. Her schooling was at Sagir Fatima Inter College. She met her husband Ravi Khandelwal, now a builder, at a party. The courting and love affair continued for more than a year and expectedly there were villains of all sorts because the path of true love never runs smooth, to quote the bard.
“Oh it was such a fascinating and romantic love story. We would exchange messages and go on long drives. My mind was already made because for some reasons, I call it result of past birth, I was always telling my parents I would go for inter-caste marriage. Although my parents did not attend the marriage, a family friend took the Kanyadan, now they all love me and admire my guts.”
Shabana’s husband Ravi has faith in Khwaja Sahab of Ajmer and goes there quite often. Shabana on the other hand is a fanatic Devi Ma Bhakt. Her temple has space for both the Holy Quran and the Hindu gods and goddesses. “I was very fond of non-veg food but when I came to my husband’s house I found they did not even eat onions and I had to hide behind a yard long ghunghat! But today everything has changed. I know more mantras and aartis than anyone else in my joint family. I have been able to change so many people and I firmly believe “love increases by sharing “mohabbat bantne se badhti hai.”
A few months ago people in Agra were surprised to see a number of huge hoardings put up by Shabana appealing for communal amity and understanding. The couplet she had got written on the hoardings sums up her philosophy of life:
“Aye kash apne mulk mein aisi fiza bane
mandir kahin jale to ranj musalmaan ko bhi ho
aur lutne na paye masjidon ki abroo
yeh fikr mandiron ke nigahbaan ko bhi ho”
